BDSM Tips From Cosmo (Really)

Say what you will about That Book (and I can’t say much because I most of my BDSM fiction for free from places like Kristen’s Archive) but if it’s inspired Cosmo to try printing BDSM sex tips, the book really may have changed the world. And, word comes, it has indeed so inspired the sexual trend-setters at Cosmo. The BDSM tips are very basic, but I confess I don’t understand why they inspire so much snark in the linked article. For instance:

4. “Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

Sensation play, with common cheap household object, because not everybody has a gleaming Wartenberg wheel in a fancy sheath. (Nor yet even the plastic disposable version.) Baby steps. But do they really deserve this sort of snarky commentary?

This was clearly written at lunchtime, after a morning spent rummaging around the office for kinkspiration. Rejected options: “Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth.” “Pretend to be a naughty piece of printer paper and tell him to ‘staple’ you.” “Act like a PDF and order him to ‘fax me hard.’ Make all relevant noises.”

Incidentally, if the women who read Cosmo need to be cautioned against stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word.

I shouldn’t think basic safety advice for a kinky-novice audience is out of place. Especially when it’s intended to be reassuring; the message is “you don’t need to make bloody holes to be doing BDSM” which is aimed at a BDSM misconception that’s genuinely out there. It’s not “you’re so stupid you might accidentally pierce your fella with a fork.”

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

Three Caged Slaves

three slavegirls in cages

From a no-longer-there website called Dungeon 21.

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

Ask A Simple Question (About BDSM)

This is the best explanation of BDSM you will ever see. Somebody asked “Explain to me the technicalities of BDSM” and Erinkyan replied:

Well you see you start out with two teams of 11 people, one is the “doms” and one is the “subs”. There is a referee called “the switch”.

Then the game starts when the subs give a wrapped gift called “submission” to the doms, and the doms have to laugh like supervillains and crack whips. Then the two teams jelly wrestle for half an hour, with points being awarded for lost items of clothing.

After the jelly wrestling there is an obstacle course called “THE ONE TRUE WAY” and during it if a dom answers to anything but MASTER they are disqualified and if a sub refuses any order given them they are also disqualified and sent to the sin bin (where the orgies happen).

Then they play the most hardcore game of Simon Says you’ve ever seen.

Then at the end of the game whichever team has the most points is the winner of BDSM and the captain of that team becomes the King of Alternative Sexuality.

The dominants always win because true submissives always give in to dominants.

In my experience the most fun is always to be had in the sin bin.

Steel Bondage: Best Bondage

lorelei lee in steel bondage

Picture credit is Hogtied (of course) and the model is the inimitable Lorelei Lee, who I like because, as Violet Blue put it:

Lorelei Lee glows. Not simply because her hair is a halo of sunshine blond, her eyes a clear liquid gaze, or because all of her features combine uniquely to make her a stunning young woman — natural body and all. Lorelei Lee smiles. A lot. And in porn, that’s a rarity.

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

Don’t Get The Water Cure

I like the way Invisible Girl, Heroine is going. Right now we’re learning about the water cure at the State Home For Wayward Girls:

warden demonstrates the water cure at the state home for wayward girls

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

Sharon Stone, Arrested

I have assembled these artsy photos of Sharon Stone being arrested by the cops from various places around the web. The photographer is Ellen Von Unwerth, but I couldn’t track down the original publication location: a magazine fashion shoot, or one of her books?

sharon stone is under arrest

sharon stone shackled to a police station bench

putting the handcuffs on sharon stone in a police station

I enjoy this shoot the most, though, once it begins to break down in hilarity. Trying to look like she’s struggling, but all she’s struggling to do is not laugh:

sharon stone handcuffed on a bed and pretending to struggle while trying not to laugh

And here she just has to give in to the fun of it all:

Sharon Stone dissolving in happy laughter with a handcuff on one wrist

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

Fuzzy Handcuffs Sighting

It went by on Twitter:

fuzzy handcuffs spotted in traffic

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog: