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This cartoon made me grin:

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I suppose I’ve been watching too much of that Discovery Channel show The Deadliest Catch (all about those crazed goons who go crab fishing every winter in the middle of the utterly deadly Bering Sea).

Why do I suppose this?

Because the first thing I thought when I saw the pictures below (from this shoot at The Training of O) was: “Now, that’s a terribly wasteful way to bait a crab pot!”

I dunno about you, but I can think of much better uses for the lovely model Charlotte Vale.

(But seriously, on that show, every time I see them make the greenhorn climb into one of those crab pots, I worry that it’s going to get launched prematurely with the dude still in it.)

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Er, with all due apologies to The Sicilian, I think this fellow has committed one of the three classic mistakes. The first of which is, never play with locking sex toys until you’ve LAID HANDS ON your bloody keys!

Man cut free from S&M chastity belt by firemen

Firefighters had to cut a man out of a titanium chastity belt intended for sex games last week.

Crews from Kingston fire station were called to the red-faced man’s home in Ham at about 11pm on June 27 after he had spent all day trying to free himself from the device.

It took about 45 minutes for firefighters to release the man, believed to be in his 40s, from the structure. By this time he had slipped in and out of consciousness due to the pressure of the chastity belt on his genitals.

Crew manager Brennan Healey, from the fire station, said the man, of average build, had put the two-piece device on in the morning but then realised he did not have a key to open it.

His girlfriend was out of the house when he put it on but returned to find him trapped in the belt and realised she did not have the key either.

“He was very embarrassed about the situation. He was very apologetic and seemed to be wishing he wasn’t there,” said Mr Healey. “He seemed like a nice guy who found himself in a predicament he didn’t want to be in.

“He had put a dressing gown over him but apart from that he only had the chastity belt on.

“He’d spent all day trying to get it off and was at his last tether.”

Three machines were needed to cut through the titanium.

“The man had lots of swelling in his genital area,” said Mr Healey. “It took a long time to release him because he was in a lot of pain, and we needed to give him oxygen.

“Firefighter Simon Mitchell did a great job and was especially hands on. When he was released we called the London Ambulance Service who took him to hospital, but he seemed much better by then.

“His girlfriend initially seemed to find it funny but became more concerned as his condition got worse.

“I think the man wanted to use it as part of an S&M sex game with his girlfriend.

“I presumed he and his girlfriend used that sort of thing a lot – they didn’t seem phased by it.

“From the inside of their house you wouldn’t know they were into that sort of thing – they didn’t have any shackles or anything! But then again, I didn’t see their bedroom.

“He didn’t want to be in that situation. That sort of thing is all right behind closed doors but when it’s out in the open it’s a different matter.

“He was very grateful and relieved by the time we left.

“It wasn’t the usual type of job we get called to!”

Surprisingly sympathetic press coverage actually, with far less prudish sensationalism than you’d get in any US newspaper.

From UseNet:

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This is from the cover of an old True Detective magazine, presumably illustrating some sort of kidnap scenario:

Clever putting the rough hemp rope on both sides of the nipple:

Photo credit: Hogtied.

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A fun excerpt from Rope Torture by Endrael:

I let her cool down for a minute so she wouldn’t cum when I touched her, then took up the rope, doubled it up, and wound it around her waist. She gasped when she felt it and looked down at me to watch, rocking her hips again. I tied a knot just above where her pubic hair would have been if she didn’t shave every day, then had her stand up so I could finish. I pinched her clit hard as I ran the doubled rope between her legs, making her gasp and shiver, and set one strand on either side of her clit.

“Don’t cum,” I told her, making her whimper even more.

I waited a few seconds, then increased my pressure on her clit and pulled hard, making her cry out and clench her fists as she trembled, riding the edge of climax. I knew the pressure pain on her clit would keep her from cumming while also keeping her right on the edge, but with as sensitive as she always was anymore, I had gotten in the habit of telling her not to anytime I did anything to her clit unless I was wanting her to cum. I pulled the rope tight, capturing her clit with it, and then tied off the ends at the small of her back after pulling it even tighter, making sure it dug into her pussy a bit painfully.

“Can I cum yet?” she asked as I stood, her breath ragged.

“Only if you can do so while walking,” I said, smiling at her and lightly running a finger on her clit.

She moaned and clung to me, shaking as she fought against cumming from my teasing. She shoved my hand away after only a few seconds more, gasping through clenched teeth and digging her fingers into my arm.

“You’re evil,” she breathed, straightening and standing shakily.

“But you love it,” I said, grinning at her.

“Oh god yes.” She pulled me into a hungry kiss, rubbing her body against me. “What do I have to do, you bastard?”

“Cum while you’re walking.” My grin broadened and I winked at her. “Walk around the room. The rope’ll do the rest.”

“Oh god…”

She looked around the room, the biggest in the house, then back at me. I simply smiled my evil innocent smile and gave her a kiss, nibbling her lip, then pulled away and grabbed the camera again. I wanted to capture this, and judging by Kim’s, “Oooh, pictures…” she did too.

Sara looked around the room again and then started walking. Her gasp was all the indication I needed to know the rope was doing exactly what I had been planning. I started taking pictures, making sure to stay in front of her so I could capture her expressions. I knew she was trying to avoid orgasm, but it didn’t take long for her to cum, and I grinned as she did. She stumbled and grabbed at the wall, almost falling. She didn’t make it very far while her orgasm was hitting her, but she did manage to stay on her feet.

She swallowed hard and managed to make it back to the sofa, trembling with each step as the rope matched her every movement and rubbed on her clit. She collapsed back into the spot she had been moments before and spread her legs, her thighs trembling as she slowly rocked her hips. She whimpered as she came again, digging her fingers at the cushion beneath her.

“Holy fuck…” Kim muttered, giggling as she reached over and ran her fingers over Sara’s thighs, which were covered in her juices from just the one orgasm. She looked at me. “And you expect us to wear that all day?”

“Yep,” I said, grinning.

Kim shivered and grinned, getting into the same position Sara had been in, arms across the back of the sofa, ass hanging off the edge, and legs spread wide. Her pussy, thighs, and the crack of her ass glistened with her juices.

“Do me! Do me! That looks like great torture!”

“You’re going to kill us with orgasms, Mike,” Sara said, clearly fighting to keep her hips still and her hands away from the rope to untie it. She was succeeding with the second but failing with the first, and she shook as she came again, which only made her rock more.

“If I am, it’d be the best way to die of anything I could do to you.”