Bondage Safety Tip: Don’t Leave Her

Bondage Blog is not your safety Nazi. There are other bondage sites for that. But some things are fuckin’ basic. Among these: when you’ve got somebody tied up, don’t leave them alone. Just don’t. It can lead to death for them and deserved prison for you, even in a relatively compassionate jurisdiction like Canada.

If she’s got a “tied up and abandoned” fetish, there are ways to fake it. Sensory deprivation for her, misdirection, a hidden webcam monitored from the next room, a low-tech peep hole in the wall, be creative if ya gotta. But be safe. Bondage is supposed to be fun, and death is the ultimate bummer.

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6 comments on “Bondage Safety Tip: Don’t Leave Her”:

AZKNIGHTWOLF commented on May 11th, 2013 at 11:12 am:

And if you think the recent kidnappings in Cleavelend are “cool” or “exciting”, seek professional help NOW!!!

Rope Guy commented on May 11th, 2013 at 2:39 pm:

Uh, yucko! I hope I didn’t say anything to suggest that I do think that?

MigMit commented on May 11th, 2013 at 2:57 pm:

As I understand, in this case a woman died, because her partner left her chained and unsupervised. Leaving the house does seem too extreme, but her death could happen when he went to the bathroom. Less likely, but still possible.

I think it would be reasonable to accept that there is some risk in any activity, and kinky sex is more risky then the usual kind. Yes, it seems to me that this man underestimated the risk greatly. But then we would resort to discussing quantities, not qualities.

OK, time for suggestions. Submissive should accept a certain amount of risk, including the (hopefully slightly) increased risk of death. Dominant should also accept a certain amount of risk, including death of the submissive AND criminal charges against hir. What was wrong here — IMHO — is that they weren’t on the same page. Seems like the woman was much less experienced and couldn’t understand the risk to the extent the man could.

knotilus commented on May 11th, 2013 at 5:22 pm:

There’s risk in everything, even crossing the street, but It’s never acceptable to leave a bound person in any situation you wouldn’t leave a baby – that’s how helpless they are.

In a situation like this, the way to mitigate the risk would have been to have another trusted person to watch the bottom while he went out. There are even ways it could be set up to give her the illusion she’d been left alone in bondage.

I feel for the Dom here, too – do you suppose anyone will want to trust him to tie them up after an incident like this?

AZKNIGHTWOLF commented on May 12th, 2013 at 2:04 am:

Rope Guy, I was not suggesting you would do something like that. Far from it! I was just trying to agree withyour point, and add that this fetish of ours is not about keeping unwilling people hostage for ten years (or ANY length of time!), and if anyone out there thinks that it is, they had better seek help. I was trying to further your point. Sorry if it did not come across that way. BDSM is about trust and love, not kidnapping and rape.

Rope Guy commented on May 12th, 2013 at 12:38 pm:

No worries, nightwolf. I thought that’s what you meant, but I wanted to be triple-sure — I’d hate to have given a wrong impression somehow. The thing that maks BDSM so much fun is the enthusiastic consent of the participants.

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