Rough Sex Preferences By Age

An interesting graph derived from data at one of the big online dating sites, as reported here:

graph of rough sex preferences by gender and time

I think this says more about gender differences in socialization about what sorts of things to divulge, though, than about any underlying actual desires and preferences. Young people these days of either gender are much more likely to say what they want, so I believe/trust the youth end of that scale. The rest of the chart, I suspect, may say more about what men and women were taught in various times past was acceptable to want and the extent to which it was proper to admit (even to themselves) what they want.

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4 comments on “Rough Sex Preferences By Age”:

budman commented on May 22nd, 2011 at 2:23 pm:

I’ll give you another possible explanation.
As we get older our skin gets thinner, joints get more painful, we loose considerable flexability.
For women – this all translates into more pain (not the “good” kind of pain) during sex. This starts around 50 and just gets worse with time. SO I suspect that women who may actually “like” rough sex find that it’s just not practical or near as much fun as they get older.

Men on the other hand, not being the recipients of the roughness, don’t have as much of that problem. But we do start to loose our libido. Men don’t talk about his much – and for those of you who are younger I’ve got some bad news . . . you start to have less interest in sex at about 50 and up. It doesn’t go away you just don’t find yourself fantasizing near as much as you used to, getting spontaneous errections as often, etc. Combine this with the same decrease in libido of our partners and you go from sex a few times a week to sex a few times a month.

SO – many men try to compensate for this loss by “more”. If you’re into BDSM, you get more extreme. If you’re into “rough sex” you get more extreme in your fantasies in an attempt to ratchet up the libido.

The result of both these factors could cause men to say they prefer rough sex much more and women much less.

nilla commented on May 22nd, 2011 at 3:20 pm:

there are exceptions to every rule…at 52 i’m liking my Master to be rough with me, in ways He wasn’t a year ago…

*grin*…and i *like* it.


budman commented on May 23rd, 2011 at 8:57 am:


I hope this continues for you – but note I said it “starts at 50” – when age really starts to hit you varies by individual – but it always does sooner or later.

WhoIsGoodWill commented on May 24th, 2011 at 6:00 am:

I think a huge part of that also has to be societal norms for women. I know a lot of women in their 40s and 50s who love “rough sex” who, perhaps three or four years ago, didn’t even know what bdsm stood for.

Also, this is from OKCupid, where although the sample size may be large, it is vastly self-selected and subject to oodles of confirmation bias. According to the chart, about 50% of the 60 year old men like rough sex. Guarantee-goddam-tee that if you took a sample size of ALL 60 year old men, not just those who are on an online dating site, you’d find a large portion not at all interested in sex.

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