Bondage Blog

Clarisse Thorn has a long post up about BDSM roles and role policing. I’ve never had much time for people who seem unduly concerned about who is doing BDSM correctly (by their lights) and who is not:

There are two common BDSM community phrases that are often deployed in tones of disgust and irritation. One of those phrases is “topping from the bottom”. The other phrase is “service top”.

“Topping from the bottom” indicates a person who exercises power in the relationship, despite being in the “bottom” position. There’s nothing wrong with doing that, as long as both partners consent. But some people talk about “topping from the bottom” like it’s bad — as if power ought to belong to one side or the other; as if the bottom should never express preferences or make decisions about what’s going on. Which is ridiculous.

I’ll grant that it can be annoying if I’m trying to be a top, and my partner isn’t listening or isn’t doing what I want. But in those cases, it’s important to pay attention to what is actually going on. Is my partner resisting because he actually doesn’t want to do what we’re doing? In that case, I should respect his preferences. Or maybe my partner is resisting because he wants me to punish him. Or maybe we just have bad chemistry! Whatever. The point is, “topping from the bottom” isn’t inherently a bad thing. “Topping from the bottom” doesn’t make the bottom into a “bad submissive” or whatever. It just means that either the person is trying to communicate, or the person is looking for a certain kind of push-pull dynamic.

(I am hardly the first person to notice that “topping from the bottom” is a badly-used phrase; here’s a rant from another BDSMer on the topic.)

Simultaneously, there’s the phrase “service top”. It’s basically the same thing in reverse. A “service top” is a top who enjoys topping in line with his partner’s desires. And once again, some people act like this is a bad thing — as if service tops “aren’t dominant enough”. But it’s not inherently a bad thing! If a service top is doing things just because her partner likes them … then good for her!

Check out Violet Blue’s gallery of photos from A Taste Of Rope. Looks like a fun good time!

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

• Lada Gaga Nude In Bondage
• You Want To Hire Codegirl As Badly As I Do
• Too Many Spankings For Beauty?
• Violet Blue In The Monk's Bondage Ropes

• Here’s a stylish bit of lesbian breath play with a studded belt around her throat.
• This antique violet wand has a marble control panel and an anatomically-correct penis probe attachment! The ones they make these days can hardly compare.
• Two girls, one small prison cell.
• Here’s a cute hogtied and gagged cartoon girl.
• Three movie clips: girl gets tied up and buzzed right on her clit with a Hitachi Magic Wand until she squirts copiously.
• Does a good grip on her hair count as bondage? When it’s keeping her in position for a brisk spanking and some anal sex, I think it might!
• Scared-looking girl has her hands cuffed behind her back. Did he just tell her he can’t find the key?
• Nun is stripped, tied, and has a crucifix in her pussy. This one is going to piss some people off!
• How about that Belzebub? Even with his wrists nailed to a cross, he can grab a helpless virgin and get a strangling cloth around her neck… #OldSacreligiousArt
• This whole gallery is full of very stylish kink, but if you click through to the ninth (non-linkable) pic, you’ll see a very nice set of collar and arm restraints. And now it’s time to administer gas to the victim…
• Leashed girl is giving a bondage blowjob. But when he’s got it all in her mouth and she’s breathing hard, he reaches down and pinches her nostrils shut. What, does he enjoy the feeling in her throat as she panics?
• She’s camera shy, but that won’t save her from the cute little whip…
• You’ve got to approve of naughty schoolgirls who are made to stuff their demure white panties with stinging nettles. Now give us a dance, girls!
• Here’s a jaw-cracking, mouth-filling, blindfolded blowjob.
• There’s still plenty of time before Christmas, but it’s not to early to start stocking up for your sex toy gifting during the Stockroom Thanksgiving Sale.
• She’s been shackled and screwed to the wall for her brutal whipping.
• This worried-looking girl is spread-eagled face down on the bed, about to get fucked from behind.
• Poor woman is tied over a common office desk and caned hard by a big husky blonde in a ridiculous leather harness.

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

• Friday Bondage Links Cornucopia #53
• Friday Bondage Links Cornucopia #52
• Friday Bondage Links Cornucopia #51
• Friday Bondage Links Cornucopia #50
• Friday Bondage Links Cornucopia #49

It’s often fun to set the slave girls against each other. If they’re good slaves, they’ll enjoy it too:

From The Upper Floor.

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

• Cleaner Of Toilets
• Slave Girls Play "Spin The Bottle"
• Hold My Silverware
• Valentines Bondage Blowjobs
• Slavegirl Mass Auditions (Don't Call It A Cattle Call)

This would be more convincing if they weren’t letting her hold the loops of rope to prevent them from tightening:

Elsewhere on Bondage Blog:

• Put Your Penis On The Rack!
• Stretch, Girl!
• Stress Positions
• Going Medieval On Her Ass

So this guilt-plagued writer for GQ is disgusted by his own pornography preferences, and feels guilty about watching it, and all that. Really, I’d forgotten that people could be so conflicted about their porn. But this guy is so worried about it, he decides to go and interview Max Hardcore, who is still in federal prison on an obscenity beef, and then write an article about how to hate yourself for watching porn. It’s an interesting read, even if it is basically an extended loop of authorial self-loathing. Here’s the writer’s description of the first time he saw a bondage movie (or maybe it was a gang-bang movie, he coyly hints but doesn’t say for sure):

God, my rabbis told me, could only grant me forgiveness for the sins I had committed against Him; sins I had committed against my fellow humans could only be forgiven by them personally. If they didn’t forgive me, my rabbis said, when I died and went to heaven, God would cause me to suffer in the exact way I had caused them to suffer.

At the time, though only 14 years of age, I had already tired of the porn magazines I found in my house and decided it was time for full-motion video. I went to Times Square, where a group of women stood outside a porn shop, protesting and carrying placards. On one placard was a picture of a naked woman tied to a bed. She had a ball gag in her mouth and clamps on her nipples. I ducked into the store, spent every dollar I’d stolen from my father’s wallet, hurried home, and hoped the videos wouldn’t work.

They worked.

Fuck.

I wondered what was wrong with me. I wondered how many gang bangs I would have to suffer in heaven. Was it like an eye for an eye—a gang bang for a gang bang—or was it some sort of eternal gang bang that never ended? Would I be anally violated? Would I be spanked? Did they have ropes and ball gags and Ron Jeremy in heaven?