Nut Crusher

As a man who wants his nuts handled with the greatest of gentle care, I really can’t be seen approving of items like this. And yet, it scores a full 100% on the “cool gear” score:

nut crusher

It’s the Nut Crusher from The Stockroom, and you’ve got to be amused by the “simple instructions for use”:

This supremely sturdy steel CBT device is designed to hold the balls in place while you turn the screw to apply pressure. Even the threat of such a squeezing is likely to cause a wince in the hardest of subs, and this heavy duty apparatus is more than capable of backing up any threats you care to make.

Simple instructions for use:

1) Unscrew the bottom ring on the flask using the included allen wrenches, and insert testicles.

2) Re-attach the ring, trapping the balls in the flask portion of the device.

3) Turn the vise screw slowly clockwise, until desired pressure is obtained by lowering the crushing press.

4) Watch them squirm!

2016 update: No longer sold. But there is a different model ball crusher available still.

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One comment on “Nut Crusher”:

Joanna commented on August 18th, 2011 at 1:01 am:

Wow ! How cruel can someone be. Though I am sure I would submit myself to that nasty instrument if ordered to. Become a eunick for sure afterwards. Solve lots of my problems that for sure ?

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