Humiliated By Pink Handcuffs

Here’s Christine, talking about the fun she had taking pink fuzzy handcuffs through security on her way home from Amsterdam:

But then I saw it – the perfect souvenir! A pair of pink, fuzzy handcuffs!

They were so cute! So Barbie-doll pink! So soft and fuzzy! I had to have them. I slapped a few Guilders down on the sticky counter and giggled like a silly schoolgirl.

Now, remember I said that I pack light, right? I hate checking luggage – it’s time consuming, and my bags always end up in Oklahoma or some remote destination. Well, even though I was in graduate school, I am not always the brightest bulb in the room. I put those pink fuzzy handcuffs in my backpack with my clothes and yes, I went through security with them, intending to bring the bag with me on the plane.

Naturally, the hottest Dutch man was working the security point that day. He put my bag through, smirked, and then ran my back through the X-ray machine again. He called over another security-buddy of his, who just happened to be the second-hottest Dutch man I’ve ever seen. He looked at the screen, and then looked at me. Looked at the screen. Back at me. He started laughing.

I thought I was going to die from humiliation.

They called over not one, not two, but three more security officials – all men. All hot. They couldn’t contain their laughter. I think one guy started crying from the laughter. I wanted to crawl into my backpack and die.

Eventually they opened my bag and pulled out the pink fuzzy handcuffs. All the people held up in line behind me started tittering

It gets better…eventually they let her on to the airplane with them, and she winds up threatening a major celebrity with them. Or so she says.

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