Kink For The Urban Missionaries

The world’s full of amusing stories about how to answer the door when the missionaries come knocking, but I kinda like this one:

*Knock!* *Knock!*

(I look through the eye scope and see 2 women outside smiling, one older, the other younger who was slightly pretty in a innocent way, carrying what look like Bibles and Watchtower magazines.)

WatchTower Miss: Good morning.

A33: (holding my black braided cotton rope) “Morning, I’m sorry I really do not have time to talk.”

WatchTower Miss: “You have no time to become happy?”

A33: (I smile at her) “My dear, I am VERY happy, see?” (pointing to my eyeliner) I’m having a good makeup day.”

WatchTower Miss: (smiles dryly) “Ah ok….” (looks at my black rope with knots in it) “You must sail as well? Like Jesus was a fisher of men…”

A33: ( I lean out a little more closer to her and give her a slightly naughty look) “Sweetie, what I do with this rope and my other “toys”, would NOT be considered holy in your circle, but I guarantee you, if Jesus DID use this rope the way I use it, you’d be wearing a lovely PVC corset right now.”

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