Gor Chatroom Spoof (I Think)

Here’s a spoof (I think and devoutly hope) of the homepage for a Gorean chatroom, complete with its own set of silly kajira dances:

Sorority Party Dance

The slave lies underneath a big paga keg with her mouth open. Then she stand up and rip off her flimsy camisk xposing her vulnerable feminineness for all to see. She howls to the three moons which are really one moon but she’s been drinking so much that it looks like three: I’m soooooooooooooooo drunk! Then she falls over.

Wedgie Dance

The slave begins this dance as if she were walking kinda sadly through a magic forst near Cos, the slave girl mysteriously hides behind a tree and tugs at her camisk, then resumes her walk. Suddenly a Master blocks her path; she does not know what to do. He gestures that she face Him and His mighty tool. She, aroused by a waffle iron that large, wiggles first one way, then the other; He will not be denied. He demands her honesty. Thereby she thusly reaches around to her womanly bottom and retrieves her camisk from riding up so damn often. His derisive laughter folows her through the forest hauntingly.

Crab Dance

A slave girl stands, wrapped in the paper camisk given to her by a Physician, waiting for Him to arrive as He is already forty ehn late for her sheep dip. Languidly, surreptitish- surrepticsh- surrep- oh, never mind, kinda secretly she lets her hand creep down to her crotch for a good swipe. Ashamed and aroused by her obvious itchiness, she sinks to the floor and wriggles seductively, hoping vainly for relief in the form of cortisone cream.

Like the man says, “No gamers!”

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2 comments on “Gor Chatroom Spoof (I Think)”:

ABitDifferent commented on March 22nd, 2005 at 2:00 pm:

You have no idea how often I see gorean websites and chats with all these roleplaying rules and then in the end say “this is for lifestyle goreans only”. I mean come on folks where the hell is the tarn. Can I take him out of the garage and fly him around the city? lol

Seriously though, not all goreans are of the roll playing scene. Not claiming to be gor, or even practice gor, however there are people out there who follow it from the heart, not the chat.

ayla commented on March 23rd, 2005 at 12:38 am:

That is some funny shit. I especially liked the “online collaring ceremony”

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