Writer Shelby Cross offers a useful illustration of the difference between fantasizing about something and actually wanting to experience it:
My absolute biggest hard limit is needles. I have a phobia of hypodermic needles and syringes, especially ones designed for blood tests.
I also have limits with my nipples. They are acutely sensitive, and can’t take a lot of abuse. Threaten me with nipple torture, and I will cry.
Here’s where things get funny: my most exciting fantasies, the ones that shoot me into instant arousal and have me itching to come, are ones that involve getting pins stuck through my nipples. Obviously, I would NEVER want this done to me; this is fantasy alone, visions in my head that will never come to fruition. But the idea of it thrills me nonetheless.
With good communication and trust, this sort of thing can be useful in scenes; a good menacing can sometimes get your sub going like nothing else, even if the threatened behavior is completely off-limits.
Elsewhere on Bondage Blog: