BDSM Tips From Cosmo (Really)

Say what you will about That Book (and I can’t say much because I most of my BDSM fiction for free from places like Kristen’s Archive) but if it’s inspired Cosmo to try printing BDSM sex tips, the book really may have changed the world. And, word comes, it has indeed so inspired the sexual trend-setters at Cosmo. The BDSM tips are very basic, but I confess I don’t understand why they inspire so much snark in the linked article. For instance:

4. “Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs.”

Sensation play, with common cheap household object, because not everybody has a gleaming Wartenberg wheel in a fancy sheath. (Nor yet even the plastic disposable version.) Baby steps. But do they really deserve this sort of snarky commentary?

This was clearly written at lunchtime, after a morning spent rummaging around the office for kinkspiration. Rejected options: “Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth.” “Pretend to be a naughty piece of printer paper and tell him to ‘staple’ you.” “Act like a PDF and order him to ‘fax me hard.’ Make all relevant noises.”

Incidentally, if the women who read Cosmo need to be cautioned against stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word.

I shouldn’t think basic safety advice for a kinky-novice audience is out of place. Especially when it’s intended to be reassuring; the message is “you don’t need to make bloody holes to be doing BDSM” which is aimed at a BDSM misconception that’s genuinely out there. It’s not “you’re so stupid you might accidentally pierce your fella with a fork.”

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