Why They Are Afraid Of BDSM People
So I found a picture on Tumblr. I’d post it here, but there’s a temptation to mock, and I try really hard not to mock “our people” — we take plenty of fire from vanillas as it is.
But this is funny and instructive, dammit — a “how not to dress” if nothing else.
The picture is here. It features two dominant guido types standing tall — all leather and bandanas but shirtless to show off their forests of chest hair — with three little slave women crouched submissively at their feet on leashes. The guys look smug and happy to be there; the women I’d say are split. One is gazing up at a leash-holder with her best submissive but-my-knees-won’t-take-this-forever look, the other’s face is not clearly visible, and the third is looking at the camera with an ambiguous look that you could take a variety of ways. I take it to mean, she’s done with this party in her head, but she plans to continue being a good sport about it. As long as it doesn’t go on forever.
The Tumblr commentary is less restrained than I have been. Tumblher writes:
These guys are what give tops the reputations as odd, freakish and socially awkward. I don’t own a single piece of leather clothing that isn’t a winter coat. I wish there was a “thumbs down” option on Tumblr, this would certainly deserve it. Seriously, ladies, would you want to submit to either of these slobs?
To which LittleGirlyOne replied:
Eew! No, I wouldn’t. And, this picture is also a perfect illustration of why I’m afraid of bdsm people…
It’s amusing though how quickly people are willing to snark on looks. One wonders if the men were Fabio clones if anyone would have even raised an eyebrow concerning the looks on the women.
To be honest, I see nothing wrong with the picture. Those guys just look like normal guys.
Now about the look of the girls (and also the look of the guy in the right), I’d say they’re all tired, like they’ve been posing and taking pictures for a long time.
And now for a less serious tone, I totally love ambiguous-look girl, she has a great face, a good looking body and I find the way she’s “sitting” very sexy.
I dunno Grosa, I construed the remarks as aimed at their fashion choices, not their looks.
Personally, I just think it’s funny that some people, apparently, aren’t at all worried about people who practice BDSM, not that they should be worried, as long as they don’t wear certain clothes when they do it.
It’s ignorance for the most part. I once read an op-ed in the local paper that was all about being accepting of “alternate” sexuality and all….Except for that nasty BDSM stuff…
Many seem to think it’s horrible sadistic dominants exploiting poor disturbed submissives…. Not realizing at all that most all the play is for the benefit of the “bottom”….
We look just like regular people. I guess that can be disturbing to folks with unrealistic expectations from their porn-viewing habits. I see the same thing in so many different places. Someone posts a pic that’s attractive in an average, might see this girl walking down the street’ sort of way, and the critic brigade comes out of the woodwork to rip on how she’s dressed, how ‘fat’ she is, how they’d never fuck her in a million years, etc. I wish there was a ‘fuck you, you sex negative asshole’ button I could click on these negative comments. I like girls, and I like my girls to look like real girls. Models in thousands of dollars of fetishwear, fresh from a visit to makeup, in front of studio lights in a carefully crafted faux-dungeon set, just don’t have the reality and plausibility of the folks who actually show up at munches, play parties, and dungeons.
This is a very strange comment thread and I don’t fully understand what is going on here.
I see the picture as comical, because to me there’s a sharply funny mismatch between the level of enjoyment/happiness on the faces of the men versus the women. Of course it’s very subjective and open to interpretation, so others may not see it this way.
Also, if I may be permitted the distinction, I think it’s a funny picture without thinking the people in the picture are risible. They’re just folks, BDSM folks. We don’t mock the people on America’s funniest home videos just because they had a funny moment; this is no different.
I also happen to think that the guys in the picture are committing some BDSM fashion crimes, which is also somewhat funny. But this is weak beer, not even funny enough for me to have bothered reposting the picture.
The interest for me in the link was the bizarrely sharp negative commentary at Tumblr. It’s kind of ambiguous, though. I think they are commenting on the clothes and the demeanors, and there’s one word (“slobs”) that could be taken as body-critical but could just as easily reference the clothes. But here at Bondage Blog, that’s triggered at least three responses that seem to assume the negativity is to do with body-appearance.
Nothing wrong with that, of course. It’s just interesting how the ambiguities in the photo, the Tumblr responses, and my own blog post have combined to create a sort of BDSM Rorsach test from hell.
As a matter of fact, the “most wrong” thing in that picture is the room. The girls aren’t anything to speak of, and the guys look somewhat embarassed to me… but the really strange thing is the tone of the thread(s).
Seriously, does anyone actually think that picture is so awful? Am I the only one who saw thousands of *really* creepy, usightly and downright bad BDSM pictures everywhere on the Net?